BanterFun SexyTime
The Adventure
Right, so I think I’ve told a few people about this, but myself, Brian Tunney and William Whorton have taken it upon ourselves to walk the circumference of Ireland, next summer, bringing a tent and minimal supples.
It came about in Australia, when i decided I was going to walk the length of Ireland by myself. After a few pints, and a few conversations, and thanks to the fact that the midlands are bollocks, I managed to recruit two other individuals willing to share the beauty/trauma of the Irish coastline with me.
I figured that taking a shortcut here and there, it would take us 2-3 months to walk 1,500km of Irish coastline, taking into account rest days, pub days, scenery days, all that stuff.
I also have a bet with Jack Mays that I won’t do it, for a fiver, which makes me even more determined..
I figured that I’ve travelled a bit, in Europe, Australia, a tad in America, but I’ve never really seen rural Ireland, as an adult anyway. So, watch this space, I suppose!
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1904098
Lollercopter.
The Work
Leeches, Jumping Ants and Rubix Cubes - 10th March 2009
I sleep in a caravan beside Laena’s house, which is up the hill from Kaya’s house, her daughter. Laena’s house is way nice, less flies and kids taking very public shits everywhere. Laena is fucking great, a proper old hippie. She is much more upbeat than the folk down the hill. She says stuff like ‘Bugger Poop!’, hilarious.
The work on the first day was a bit shit, carrying bamboo from one never-ending pile to another. Got scratched to fuck, and was bitten by two jumping ants, which are like two inches long, and that hurt like a cunt. A huge leech clamped himsef to my heel for a good half an hour, sucking my blood until it was th size of a slug. It didn’t hurt when I pulled it off but it didn’t stop bleeding for a good hour, ruining my runners. I get on really well with Laena, she has lots of interesting stories and shows genuine interest in mine. Some of my favourite times at Nymboida are just sitting watching Australian TV in Laena’s. Other work around the garden has been grand, just weeding and planting and stuff, did some rockwork which was fun, building a rock path. I actually can’t believe that it hasn’t even been three weeks, Seriously, what the fuck.
Note: I realise that there is an excessive amount of swearing in these entries, I am simply copying them over from my journal book, so I suppose there was simply a lot of swearing in my head at the time.
It seems like Nymboida has turned into a bit of an intellectual getaway, I’m learning how to play the piano, how to complete a Rubix cube and how to speak Swedish, all of which Laena is helping me out with. I’m determined to reach a competent level in all three before I leave. I might try and cycle to and from Grafton, which would be 100km all together, but it would probably kill me. Where the fuck did all this ambition come from Ridiculous.
I actually can’t believe that Emma is coming here, it’s gonna be so fucking good. Sam and Emma do Australia. Fucking Ace.
The Commune.
Nymboida - 9th March 2009
376 Glens Creek Road, Home sweet home.
I found John Butler! Two of them! This place is actually ridiculous, I didn’t think people still lived like this, the houses are entirely self-built with solar panels, rainwater coming out of the taps and the toilets are glorified holes in the ground. Dreadlocks are standard, and the kids have such hippie stereotype names: Ochre and Spiral. Sake.
Ochre, Spiral and Kaya
It’s a proper hippie commune, dreadlocks are standard, they thank Mother Earth for the food on the dinnertable. When I arrived, and was told that there was no internet or mobile phone coverage, I wanted to cry. I didn’t know what the fuck I was getting myself into. I completely took my mobile phone for granted in Byron. Being completely cut off from the outside world is a bit frightening. The nearest town (and shop) is 50km away. Gareth, who picked me up from the bus stop, is the kid’s dad. He has long platinum dreadlocks and is very soft spoken, almost to a whisper. The language here is so funny,i asked Gareth if he got on well with Tibo, the new boyfriend of Kaya, the mother of his kids, and instead of saying something like ‘Yeah, I guess he’s a cool bloke’, he looked me dead in the eye and said, ‘He is a beautiful person’. Kaya doesn’t shave her armpit hair. Buzz.
Gareth
Tibo
The Road to Brisbane
This is some excerpts from a travel journel/rant book that I’ve been keeping for the past few weeks. From reading back, I found that I only really used it as a method of release, and therefore it mainly consists of me being unneccesarily negative and giving out about things/people. It is therefore, heavily censored.
Take Off - 22nd February 2009
I’m waiting for my first flight to Frankfurt, it’s a funny feeling; apprehension mixed with excitement, leaving her behind was so hard but I’m sure I’ll be seeing her again in no time. I still don’t think it has properly kicked in, maybe it will on the plane.
Singapore - 23rd February 2009
Nothing feels real yet, I’ve just gone from airport to airport, where everything is simple, clean and identical. I don’t know what is going to happen once I step out of Brisbane airport, if they let me in! The one place where I get free internet and my laptop dies, brilliant. Those fuckers in the smoothie stand better not have charged me twice. Nearly finished Into The Wild, which is replacing my sense of fear with a sense of adventure. Good buzz.
Brisbane - 25th February 2009
Brisbane is fucking hot.Seriously hot, even when it’s overcast like today. Serious armpit sweatpatch buzz. I’m looking forward to heading out to Byron tomorrow, Brisbane seems like a bit of a Bratislava: not much to do after two days. I went to some museums and wandered around the town, went to South Bank and saw a cool city beach (Below) and went to the Botanic Gardens. When I woke up last night at about 11pm, I walked into the hostel bar, and walked right back out again. It was like Q Bar, strobe lights and harsh dance music, fingerbanging in the corners.This solo travelling is gonna take a lot of getting used to. And I thought Australians were cultured, where’s John Butler when you need him?
Kids with saws are scary.
The Perch Creek Family Jugband, playing Byron Market, March 2009.
The best gig ever. And yes, the kid at the front does have a prosthetic leg. Amazing.
I’ve been keeping an occasional travel journal, I’ll throw some chunks of it on tumblr once I get an internet opportunity that isn’t $4 an hour. This is a leopard shark, which I swam beside while Scuba-diving. Awesome.
The scariest snowman I have ever seen.
The Kettle
The other night I was walking along the canal, watching my breath, when I came across a remarkable sight. A white plastic kettle, sitting on a bench, all alone, with its power cable swaying softly in the wind. Who put the kettle there? Was it faulty? Was it replaced by a new, sleek, stainless steel kettle? It looked so out of place, an odd mix of technology and nature, the past and the present, human and inanimate, i thought a lot about the kettle, and then I forgot about it. Just like somebody else did.
